The Grilled "cheesus" and why I cried

I just finished watching the new episode of "Glee" and I was so very touched.

Now, I realize that this show is, at it's core, a sweet musical about what it means to be a teen. But every once in a while they do a show that is touching and makes me think, last nights was one of these.

At the beginning Finn makes a grilled cheese sandwich that has an image of Jesus on it and he immediately thinks he should start praying to it. Ok, I realize how incredibly eye rolling and silly this sounds, and I was laughing with it as well. But then the show turned, and suddenly Kurt's dad was in a coma and the questions about faith become touching and real.
Finn's grilled "cheesus" becomes the catalyst for asking the big questions about faith and life, and we see him and some of the others groping for faith in a world that doesn't make sense and is scary.

At one point some of the Glee kids want to pray for Kurts dad. But after being told by religious people that because he's gay that means he's evil and unwanted by God, Kurt doesn't want their prayers or anything having to do with God.

This is where I began to cry.

There was a lot more to the show, and I've included a link to Hulu so that you can watch it in case you're curious; which in spite of some of the spoilers I've included here I think you should.
I cried, I think, because I'm heartbroken by how exclusive Christianity has become.
The faith that said "Come to me ALL you who are weary or brokenhearted and I will give you rest." Now says "No, we don't want you because you're ______."

Some may think the idea of the grilled "cheesus" is really not appropriate, but let's think about this for a minute. What it did was help this character grope toward answers to his faith, even as it raised more questions. Everyone's journey to faith is different, who are we to judge what their journey looks like just because it doesn't appear like we think it should. If it brings people to faith, if it helps them answer questions then what harm is it?

There were other parts of the show that really touched me. One was Jane Lynch's character, the scene where she tells the guidance counselor Emma when she lost her faith and why, and the later scene where she's talking about that with her sister. I don't want to ruin it for you, you really should see it, but the scene with her sister made me cry the hardest. There was something so honest and touching that broke my heart because the people who question, and doubt, the ones that don't look like everyone else, or think like everyone else, they are the one's that are shunned and shut out.

It absolutely kills me that this is the reality of the Church in this country. And again, don't get me wrong, I know that there are many Christ-followers who arent' like this so I'm not trying to say absolutely everyone, but it feels like it sometimes.

God's love didn't discriminate when Jesus was here, and it shouldn't now either.

At the end of the show, it didn't seem that there were any solid answers. It didn't end with a nice little bow around it, and some of the characters are still groping for faith. I appreciated that, actually, because that's the journey of faith. It never stops and that's ok, that's life.

Book of the Week: "Mists of Avalon"

I originally read "Mists of Avalon" in High School, and I know I didn't quite get the deep layers of the story.

Yes, it's another Arthurian story, but it's told in a way that I'm not sure any other author has tried to tackle, and certainly no other has accomplished what Marion Zimmer Bradley has.

The Arthurian story is told through the eyes of the women of the legend: Igraine, Morgaine, Morgause, Gwenhyfar, Vivianne, Nimue, Elaine. It turns the conventions of the legend on their ear. Traditionally Morgaine and Morgause are one and the same. In this story they are two different characters; niece and aunt. Morgause is self-seeking, ruthless and, some might say, over sexed. But Morgaine is really the heroine of the story, the woman upon whom all things hinge and change and turn.

Gwenhyfar is a bit two dimensional and annoying, a true Christian zealot who only at the last moment realizes, even a little, where she's been wrong and because of that is able to be selfless.

Igraine is one of the more fascinating characters although at the end of her "life" in the book she becomes a cardboard cut out. Her love affair with Uther has a different spin on it, and there's a really beautiful and interesting scene where Igraine is remembering a past life with Uther and who they were to each other and the world around them. After Igraine and Uther are married, however, it feels as if Igraine regresses and all the dimension she had is suddenly gone.

The book is very long and in some ways the construction of the book is odd in that the author repeats information almost verbatim in two different scenes. There is sex in the book, but not overly descriptive or pornographic. The interesting twist is that where other tellings of the legend hint shyly at a homosexual attraction between Arthur and Lancelet, this book lets it be there. It doesn't beat us over the head with it, nor does it have them being lovers in the conventional sense, but it doesn't hide it either.

Though I have issues with her construction of the novel, it is written very well, and beautifully. Knowing the legend as well as I do, I would cringe when Morgaine, for example, would hope for the future or plan for a better tomorrow. And even though I know how the story ends for the most part, I found myself unable to stop reading at points. It's poignant and beautiful, the painfully exquisite faith and world of the Druids infusing the story with the mystery, charm and beauty of the Mists.

It certainly paints Christians with a one color brush, though. All Christians are portrayed only as intolerant and repressive of women. Though this is, unfortunately, a very true aspect of modern day and historical Christianity, not all Christians are like this and I would have liked at least a few Christian characters that had more tolerance and love and respect for women than what she had.

The book has very feminist undertones, but I didn't find it preachy at all. I actually found myself yearning to discover the rich history I have as a woman. The book does not portray women as better than men. Instead it celebrates our differences and tries to point out how our differences, when put together, form a mighty unit.

At the end of the book the Druid faith has faded into the mists, and seems to be no more. But the author gives us a little hope. As Morgaine visits a convent, she sees the shrine and chapel devoted to the Virgin Mary and Saint Bridget and realizes that though the old ways of worshiping the Goddess are gone for good, She still exists and will always exist.

This is beautiful to me in that the old sparks of faith that set our ancestors on their paths to discover the Creator, the ultimate Being are still alive today, they just look different. Our faith will evolve, and sometimes it will be ugly and destructive, but always the spark of beauty, peace and truth that was before will remain somehow, we just have to be open to it.

Am I saying I now believe in a Goddess as opposed to God? No, but I have often wondered, and still wonder, if relegating God to being a Man isn't limiting a being that is inherently infinite. Couldn't God be both male and female? In the act of creation, isn't there the need for both the feminine and the masculine? Perhaps I will never know for sure until I see God face to face, and I'm kind of at peace with that.

The book was great, in spite of the parts I didn't like. I recommend this book to anyone, especially authors of fantasy. Just make sure you're ready for a potentially long stretch of reading this.