Remembering the joy through the nausea.

It's been hard the past week to remember that all the nausea, gas, bloating, and constipation is because we are finally pregnant, but I'm trying. I did a prenatal yoga DVD last week, and I was crying at one point because it was talking about connecting with the baby at different points in the practice. It hit home to me, through the fatigue and farts, that I had a little life growing inside of me. As I write this, I'm reminded again.
Our baby is about the size of a blueberry right now, and my uterus is twice it's size since I conceived! I couldn't believe that! I'm feeling a little...well not heavy, but definitely that there's something more in my abdomen area. I'm not showing yet. Like most healthy women I already had a little bump before I got pregnant. I'm excited and yet nervous about starting to show. I've worked so hard to lose weight and be healthy, it's been really hard to mentally handle eating six to seven times a day to stave of nausea and an empty stomach.
I gotta tell ya, our little Tigger is an eater! She/he blows through food like nobody's business!
But I'm choosing healthy options, even as my body is craving the breads, potatoes and pasta's I kept so in check the last four years. I'm giving myself some leeway with it, but choosing whole grains whenever I can as opposed to white flour and trying to learn how to make vegan mashed potatoes since they don't have all the butter and cream of regular mashed.
I'm making myself walk about a mile a day, even if I can't work up the energy to do my yoga daily. My cardio DVD's are way too exhausting right now. Walking is easy because Gracie needs to be walked, and she needs a good thirty to fourty-five minute walk in the afternoon. She's been funny the last few weeks. She doesn't follow me around as much as she did, but she's definitely more attentive throughout the day.
I'll learn how to balance the nausea with remembering why I've got it in the first place; and being grateful for it too. It's a good sign. And when it goes away I'll be so glad!
I'm still laughing and smiling, though belly laughs are out of the question for now!

Sarah Laughed

This was the last post at my old blog, Wanted: A Baby. Now that I am pregnant, I thought it was a good idea, to start fresh. Thanks to all of you who have journeyed with me so far, who cried with me and prayed or thought good thoughts for us. I hope this makes you laugh.

Hello readers! I know, long time no hear from. But I was taking a break. And then I was too grumpy to write. Now, I can't help myself.
At the beginning of May I was reminded once again of the story of Abraham and Sarah. Now, Sarah laughed twice regarding her infertility:
Once was in God's face. I mean it, she literally laughed in His face when He told her she'd have a baby soon. And believe me when I say, I know exactly how she felt!
The second time was when she gave birth to her son, Isaac. She said that she laughed and that everyone who heard about what she had gone through and about her son would laugh too. This time, she laughed in joy, not pain.
I couldn't get that story out of my head last month. Over and over, every time I'd doubt, or be sad. Or when our OPK didn't show that I was ovulating, in spite of using Clomid last month. Through it all I tried to remember this.
When Dan and I went to my OB on June first to talk about why I didn't ovulate the nurse suggested a pregnancy test. I grudgingly gave a urine sample. A little bit later, my OB peeked her head in and said "You're positive."
I was stunned, as was Dan right next to me; but that only lasted a half second. We laughed and cried for about fifteen minutes or so and then we did a blood test. The results later that night showed that we were definitely pregnant.
Today, we went in for our first ultrasound. I'm six weeks and four days along and the baby looks perfect.
It still doesn't seem real some days that the journey is over and a new one is beginning. Sometimes all I can focus on is not throwing up all over the floor (so far I've only had nausea and fatigue, but there's a been a few close calls on the actual vomiting department the last few days.) But today, with seeing the heart beat and seeing this small thing inside of me...Well, it brought it home to me and I started to cry some more.
Our baby is a miracle to us. We didn't think we could conceive without an IUI, but we did. We were worried I wasn't ovulating, but I was. And God put it all together and said "Now is the time."
I laughed, like Sarah. And everyone we've told has laughed and cried too.
So I guess God was trying to give me a heads up for what was to come.
If you'd like to follow my pregnancy blog, it is Sarah Laughed.